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Reading List

Recommended Reading

 

For Couples
  • Stan Tatkin, PsyD. Wired For Love: How Understanding Your Partner’s Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build A Secure Relationship.

  • Stan Tatkin, PsyD. Your Brain On Love: The Neurobiology of Healthy Relationships.

  • Stan Tatkin, PsyD. We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love.

  • Stan Tatkin, PsyD. Relationship Rx: Insights and Practices to Overcome Chronic Fighting and Return to Love.

  • Stan Tatkin, PsyD. Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate.

  • Stan Tatkin, PsyD and Kara Hoppe, MFT. Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents.

  • Harville Hendrix, PhD. Getting The Love You Want: A Guide for Couples.

  • Janis A. Spring, PhD. After The Affair, Healing The Pain and Rebuilding Trust When A Partner Has Been Unfaithful.

  • L.Waite and M. Gallagher. The Case For Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better Off Financially.

  • Rick Hanson, PhD. Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom.

  • Marion Solomon, Stan Tatkin, PsyD. Love and War in Intimate Relationships.

  • Rick Hanson, PhD. Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence.

 
For Parents

With commentary when applicable

General Parenting, by Age​

Toddlers

  • The Emotional Life of the Toddler, by Alicia Lieberman

    • Parents have found this really helpful​

Young Children

  • Playful Parenting, by Lawrence J. Cohen

    • A non-pathologizing approach, emphasizing the many benefits of play, and helping parents join kids "in their world."

  • 1-2-3 Magic, by Thomas W. Phelan

    • ​​A book parents like a lot, for run-of-the-mill discipline issues with younger children. Despite the fact that it offers more of a behavioral approach, it also offers lots of very practical advice about how to approach children of different ages. It is especially good for parents who are overly intellectual and give in to endless explanations and negotiations. It concentrates on the interaction between the child and the parent, not just the ways to shape the desired behavior. For parents who keep trying to get their young children to agree with all their rules, and get involved in endless negotiations and attempts at persuasion, it can be quite liberating. Some contributors have spoken of the limitations of this book (due to its behavioral approach) and a philosophy of parenting that they disagree with but, even so, it can be useful, especially if kids are fighting or just won’t stop doing something. Phelan, unfortunately, just does not give enough attention to so many other important aspects of being a parent.

Adolescents

  • All That She Can Be: Helping Your Daughter Maintain Her Self-Esteem, by Carole Eagle

    • ​A guide to help parents understand and cope with their adolescent girl's development.​

All Ages

  • The Armin Brott Fatherhood Series

    • Best thing I have seen for fathers. They are published under several age groupings. The first one is called The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be. There is one also for first year, toddlers and school-age children.

  • Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive, by Daniel J. Siegel and Mary Hartzell​

    • ​For parents who are able to reflect on how the deeper issues in their own life relate to their current parenting style. It is especially helpful to parents who are seeking parent guidance alongside their own treatment. It is a book intended to increase reflective functioning. Chapters are followed by descriptions of very specific activities parents can do to this end.

  • The Self-Esteem Trap, by Polly Young-Eisendrath, Ph.D.

  • Spoiling Childhood, by Diane Ehrensalt, Ph.D.

  • The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness, by Edward Hallowell, Ph.D.

    • ​I like all of his books…mostly about ADHD.

  • Raising Resilient Children, by Robert Brooks, Ph.D.

  • Nurturing Good Children Now, by Ron Taffel, Ph.D.

  • Good Friends are Hard to Find: Help your Child Find, Make, and Keep Friends, by Frankel & Wetmore

  • Between Parent and Child, by Dr. Haim Ginott

    • ​The standard for parenting advice was set, many years ago, by this classic by Haim Ginott. It is still difficult to improve on Ginott’s wise recommendations.

 
ADD/ADHD
  • ​Teenagers with ADD and ADHD, A Guide for Parents and Professionals, by Chris A. Zeigler Dendy
    • It’s readable, practical, and packed with lots of information and strategies, with a very positive approach. There’s so much in this one, a parent may need a little guidance so they don’t get overwhelmed.

  • You Mean I’m not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?, by Kate Kelly, Peggy Ramundo, Edward Hallowell

    • ​Although it’s aimed at adults, it’s very helpful to teens and their parents for understanding and building strategies. Written by adults with ADHD, it’s a positive, useful approach. I have yet to show this book to a teenager who does not respond with recognition and validation at the title! In addition, it’s not unusual for a child with ADHD to have a parent with the same issue so it ends up being useful for them as well.

  • My Brother's a World Class Pain, by Michael Gordon

  • Putting on the Brakes, by Patricia Quinn and Judity Stern

    • For parents to read to their child

  • Otto Learns About his Medicine, by Matthew Galvin

    • For parents to read to their child​

  • Super-Parenting for ADD, by Hallowell, E.M. and Jensen, P.

    • ​Hallowell and Jensen write about the need to appreciate the “gifts,” not just the deficits and difficulties, of living with ADD and emphasize the importance of empathy and positive parenting. For essential information and research on ADD, see Hallowell, E. M. and Ratey, J. J. (2005) Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most Out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder. New York: Ballantine Books.

Child with Special Needs
  • ​The Child with Special Needs: Encouraging Intellectual and Emotional Growth, by Stanley Greenspan, Ph.D. and Serena Wieder, Ph.D.​
  • A Parents' Guide to Special Education in New York City and the Metropolitan Area, by Laurie Dubos and Jana Fromer

Specific Issues
  • For Sensory Integration Disorder: The Out-Of-Sync Child, by Carol Kranowitz

  • For temperament difficulty: The Difficult Child, by Stanley Turecki

  • Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems, by Richard Ferber

  • Freeing Your Child from Obsessional-Compulsive Disorder, by Tamar Chansky

  • The Kazdin Method for Parenting The Defiant Child, by Alan Kazdin

  • The Explosive Child, by Ross Greene

  • For Social Skills Building: Sometimes I Feel Like I Don’t Have Any Friends (But Not So Much Anymore), by Tracy Zimmerman and Lawrence Shapiro. Center for Applied Psychology, King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.

  • Asperger’s Syndrome: A Guide for Parents and Professionals, by Tony Attwood

Parentified Child
  • ​The Drama of the Gifted Child, by Alice Miller​
    • Originally published as Prisoners of Childhood, this is a class on how the needs of the sensitive child are abnegated to meet the needs of a parent that cannot see or respond to the real emotional needs of the child.​
  • The Normal One: Life With a Difficult or Damaged Sibling, by Jeanne Safer
    • This book is about having a disabled sibling, which is a slightly different slant but useful.​

Bullying
  • ​Two Little Boys, by Charles Blow
    • A journalist's report of research documenting an increase in suicidal thoughts among children who have been subjected to bullying – and a moving tribute to two young victims – that deserves to be read by all parents.​

Anxiety & Depression
  • Helping Your Anxious Child: A Step-by-Step Guide for Parents, by Rapee, Spence, Cobham, Wignall

  • Worried No More: Help and Hope for Anxious Children, by Wagner

  • The Silence Within: A Teacher/Parent Guide to Working with Selectively Mute and Shy Children, by Kervatt

  • Monsters Under the Bed and Other Childhood Fears: Helping you Child Overcome Anxieties, Fears, and Phobias, by Garber, Garber, & Spizman

  • Living With a Black Dog, by Matthew Johnstone

    • Helpful for depression specifically.​

  • Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, by Chancy, T.

  • Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, by Chansky, T. (2004). Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press.

  • Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking, by Chansky, T. 

    • "Freeing" books include helpful techniques, based on cognitive-behavioral research, for helping children with these problems.

  • The Optimistic Child, by Seligman, M.

    • In this book, Martin Seligman describes a successful program for reducing pessimism and strengthening psychological immunity in elementary school children.

Trauma, Grief & Loss
  • For impending parent loss: Any information put out by the Dougy Center

  • For parent loss: Never the Same: Coming to Terms With the Death of a Parent, by Donna Schuurman

  • For parent loss: Losing a Parent to Death in the Early Years, by Alicia Lieberman

    • It’s focused on traumatic bereavement but has useful resources and a book session at the end that covers issues for children and parents.

  • For trauma and grief: Brave Bart, by Caroline Sheppard, Institute for Trauma and Loss in Children

  • For grief in older children: Goodbye Chicken Little, by Betsy Byars

  • For grief in younger children: Rachel and the Upside Down Heart, by Eileen Douglas

  • It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to Break the Cycle, by Mark Wolynn

  • How Trauma and Resilience Cross Generations, by Dr. Rachel Yehuda, PhD

Step-Families
  • Step-Families, by Emily B. Visher, Ph.D. and John S. Visher, M.D.

  • The Not-So-Wicked Stepmother, by Lizi Boyd. Puffin Books, NYC.

  • For step-fathers: Keys to Parenting Your Anxious Child, by Katharina Manassis, M.D.

Adoption
  • ​Abby, by Jeanette Caines

Defiant Behavior
  • The Kazdin Method For Parenting the Defiant Child, by Kazdin, A.

    • The Kazdin Method is the state-of-the-art program for resolving problems of defiant behavior.

  • Minimizing Power Struggles: Understanding, Respecting, and Responding to Your Child’s Behavior, by Schreiber, J.

    • Excellent tips on avoiding power struggles with young children from an experienced early childhood educator.

Self-Esteem & Eating Issues
  • Real Kids Come In All Sizes: 10 Essential Lessons to Build Your Child’s Body Esteem, by Kathy Kater

  • A book to read to children: Shapesville, by Andy Mills and Becky Osborn

    • An illustrated book about everyone coming in different sizes and shapes.

  • A book to read to children: Full Mouse Empty Mouse: A Tale of Food and Feelings, by Dina Zeckhausen, PhD

Psychiatric Medicine
  • ​Your Child in the Balance, by Kalikow, K.
    • A thoughtful discussion by an experienced child psychiatrist on whether and when to prescribe psychiatric medicine to children.

Tantrums
  • No More Meltdowns, by Baker, J.

  • The Explosive Child, by Greene, R. W.

History
  • Raising America, by Hulbert, A.

    • A history of parenting advice (and the personalities of the advice-givers) over the course of the 20th century.

  • Mothers and Others, by Hrdy, S. B.

    • An eminent anthropologist’s ideas on the role of communal child rearing in human evolution.

Homework
  • The Battle Over Homework (2nd Ed.), by Cooper, H.

Learning
  • Overcoming Dyslexia, by Shaywitz, S.

  • A Mind at A Time, by Levine, M.

  • The Myth of Laziness, by Levine, M.

Media Violence
  • Imagination and Play in the Electronic Age, by Singer, D. G. and Singer, J. L.

Motivation & Purpose
  • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, by Dweck, C.

    • An important idea for parents and teachers, based on extensive research.

  • The Path To Purpose, by Damon, W.

    • In this book, William Damon reports the results of his study of the development of a sense of purpose in adolescents and young adults.

Sports
  • ​Positive Sports Parenting, by Thompson, J.
    • Must-read advice for all parents of children involved in organized sports.

Children's Books
  • Sammy the Elephant and Mr. Camel, by Joyce Mills and Richard Crowley. From Magination Press (Brunner/Mazel, NY). (enuresis)

  • About shyness: I Don’t Know Why.. I Guess I’m Shy, by Barbara Cain

  • About soiling: Clouds and Clocks, by Matthew Galvin

  • About AIDS: You Can Call Me Willy, by Joan Verniero

  • First Day Jitters, by Danneberg.

  • Wemberly Worried, by Henkes.

  • Scary Night Visitors: A Story for Children with Bedtime Fears, by Marcus, Marcus, & Jesche

  • Into the Great Forest: A Story for Children Away from Parents for the First Time, by Marcus, Marcus, & Jesche

  • Geraldine’s Blanket, by Keller, H.

  • Gone Fishing, by Long, E. R.

    • A brief picture book that beautifully captures the feelings of a young boy in his relationship with his father.

  • My Grandmother’s Cookie Jar, by Miller, M.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
For Adolescents & Their Parents
  • Basso, Michael, The Underground Guide to Teenage Sexuality: An Essential Handbook for Today’s Teens And Parents.

  • Bluestein, Jane, Parents, Teens and Boundaries: How To Draw The Line.

  • Bradley, Michael J., Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind.

  • Canten, L., Assertive Discipline For Parents.

  • Carter, William Lee, The Angry Teenager / Why Teens Get So Angry and How Parents Can Help Them Grow Through It.

  • Clemes, Harris and Raynold Bean, How to Raise Teenagers’ Self Esteem.

  • Covey, Sean, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens: The Ultimate Teenage Success Guide.

  • Dobsen, F., How to Parent.

  • Dryfoos, J., Adolescents at Risk.

  • Elias, Zack, How Not to Embarrass Your Kids: 250 Don’ts For Parents Of Teens.

  • Elium, Don & Jeanne, Raising a Teenager: Parents and the Nurturing of a Responsible Teen.

  • Elkind, D., All Grown Up and No Place to Go.

  • Elkind, David, Parenting Your Teenager and All Grown Up And No Place to Go: Teenagers In Crisis.

  • Faber, Adele and Elaine Mazlish, How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk.

  • Feinstein, Sheryl and Eric Jensen, Secrets of the Teenage Brain: Research-Based Strategies for Reaching and Teaching Today’s Adolescents.

  • Ford, Judy., Wonderful Ways to Love A Teen.

  • Freedman S., Small Victories.

  • Garcia, Renee Bradford and Susan Galvin, Don’t Look at Me in that Tone of Voice: Tween Discipline for Busy Parents (Tween Survival Kit).

  • Garvin, J., Learning How To Kiss A Frog.

  • Giannetti & Sagarese, The Rollercoaster Years.

  • Ginott, H.G., Between Parent and Teenager.

  • Ginsburg, Kenneth, But I’m Almost 13! : Raising a Responsible Adolescent.

  • Gurian, Michael, A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do to Shape Adolescent Boys into Exceptional Men.

  • Hechinger, G., How to Raise A Street Smart Kid.

  • Hersch, Patricia, A Tribe Apart: A Journey into the Heart of American Adolescence.

  • Kessler, J., Too Big To Spank.

  • Kirshenbaum, M. and Foster C., Parent/Teen Breakthrough: The Relationship Approach.

  • Maxym, Carol, Teens in Turmoil: A Path to Change for Parents, Adolescents, and Their Families.

  • Mostatche, Harriet and Karen Unger, Too Old for This, Too Young for That!: Your Survival Guide for the Middle School Years.

  • Nelson, J. and Lott, L., I’m On Your Side.

  • Paulson, Terry, Can I Have The Keys To The Car?: How Teens and Parents Can Talk About Things That Really Matter.

  • Pipher, Mary, Reviving Ophelia.

  • Reynolds, Eliza and Sil, Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your Bond Strong Through the Teen Years.

  • Riera, Michael, Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers and Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How to keep Them Talking To You And How to Hear What They’re Really Saying.

  • Ross, Julie A., How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years.

  • Sanders, Bill, What Teens Need Most From Their Parents.

  • Steinberg, Laurence, Crossing Paths and You and Your Adolescent, New and Revised edition: The Essential Guide for Ages 10-25 and Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence.

  • Steinberg, L., and Levine, A., You and Your Adolescent.

  • Taffel, Ron, The Second Family: Dealing with Peer Power, Pop Culture, the Wall of Silence – and Other Challenges of Raising Today’s Teens.

  • Trujillo, Michelle, Why Can’t We Talk? What Teens Would Share if Parents Would Listen.

  • Vedrat, Joyce, My Parents Are Driving Me Crazy.

  • Walsh, David, Why Do They Act That Way? A Survival Guide to The Adolescent Brain for You and Your Teen.

  • Wolf, Anthony, Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, Revised and Updated.

  • Youngs, Bettie, Safeguarding Your Teenagers from the Dragons of Life: A Parent’s Guide to the Adolescent Years.